Is Low-level Adversity Running the Show

As many of you know, I’m training for a triathlon with a group of women, including former U.S. Olympic athlete Marion Jones. We stay connected through a video chat app, sharing updates on our training, setbacks, and support.

Recently, Marion named something she was noticing that really stuck with me.

She observed how much energy we were spending on what she called low-level adversity: those everyday annoyances that quietly wear us down. You know the kind: you show up at the pool and it’s unexpectedly closed; your bike tire is flat; your schedule shifts and suddenly your training window disappears. Not disasters, just friction.

The thing is, when we vent about those small things, or just let them stew, they can slowly pull down the energy of a group. Not intentionally, but noticeably.

Marion told a story from her racing days. Before a major international event, a hotel mix-up meant she didn’t get the breakfast she needed. It threw her off. But when she met up with her teammates, she didn’t mention it.

“I didn’t need to make my problem their problem,” she said.

That hit me. Not because we should bottle things up, but because we all know the difference between seeking support and spreading stress.

And timing matters too.

In Marion’s example, her teammates were settling into their pre-race mental focus. Sharing at that moment could have pulled them out of their zone.

As a leadership coach, I see how much time and energy are lost in leadership and in teams, not to big problems, but to low-level adversity. The background hum of complaints, blame, or resignation. The kind of energy that drags things down, even when intentions are good. Even with the best intentions, that energy is contagious.

Marion challenged us to reset the tone in our group, not by pretending everything’s fine, but by focusing on what we can control: seeking support, problem-solving, accountability, celebration, and encouragement.

It made me wonder:

What would it take to create high-resilience spaces — at work, in training, at home — where resilience is the tone, and small setbacks don’t get more attention than they deserve?

Where are you giving too much airtime to low-level adversity, and what would it take to shift that? What tone are you setting in the spaces you're in? I'd love to hear.